When my girlfriend woke me up early last Saturday to say that we needed to go to Ikea, I was not a happy camper. Negotiating the outer reaches of the North Circular, with a screaming infant in the back is bad enough, but the idea of spending the best part of a day there was daunting.
From the long queues to the vast size of the place, the Swedish megastore is one big nightmare. The pine veneer furniture looks cheap. And don't get me started on the kitchen units, which you know any future buyer will recognise instantly, before whispering to their partner that they will need to be ripped out. The worst part is if you have ever tried to take something back to Ikea it can take hours. They make you sit in their bus station, or hell-like waiting area for your ticket to be called out, so you can get your money back for that thing you didn't want or need in the first place.
One interesting fact is that Ikea is an acronym of Ingvar Kamprad, the seventh richest man in the world, who founded the business in the 1940s. He is still alive, and god knows he has a lot to answer for. How does he sleep at night I wonder? Is it in a bed from Ikea that came in a flat-pack? And does he lie awake thinking of those queues and stampedes like the one in his Tottenham store when it first opened. People were killed in the crush when Ikea set up shop in Saudi Arabia, after many had camped outside overnight.
Anyway, I had to shoo Lucy along when she stopped to browse. Naturally she hates shopping with me – but I am unrepentant. Go there with your list, stick to it, and know where the item you want is located. That is the best tip I can give to anyone who has to go there. Don't browse. Don't think "how about one of these?" or "those look nice". At best it will end up in the charity shop in a few months, at worst in landfill.
The arguments had all been made before we set off. My little baby Jesse needed a cot of his own. He refused to sleep in his Moses basket, and was starting to take over my side of the bed slowly but surely. If successful, the mission to Ikea could mean that I might be allowed back in, and that I would no longer have to spend the night on the flimsy Ikea futon mattress in the living room when Jesse can't sleep.
The turning to Tottenham Brimsdown, after Angel Road railway station is perhaps where Albion ends and purgatory begins. You can see the chimneys of the industrial estates along the way. Maybe they are the fires of hell.
Back home, after needing to take all the parts out of the box in Ikea's underground car park because it didn't fit in the Skoda, Lucy, my better half, promised to put the cot together. Only for me to be roped back in to finish it after her offer was withdrawn.
Putting it together, for once it all seemed so simple. It was as if Ikea had spent a lot of time and thought into making their flat-packs more foolproof. Gone are the days of taking it all apart again to start again, just because you missed out a screw, or thought you could save time by jumping a step. Mistakes seemed easier to rectify, I said to myself. In the event, telling Lucy it would only take five minutes more may have been a bit premature, tempting fate you might say. Something in retrospect I should never have promised.
Finally, shortly before midnight, it was ready. I had worked out how the adjustable design worked to take the side of the cot off, allowing it to pushed up against the bed. And I only needed to repeat a few of the steps along the way.
I was proud of my achievement, and with my chest pumped out like a peacock I called Lucy in to inspect. I thought that with my expertise I could probably build my own conservatory next. That was until she saw it, and cried: "It's the wrong one, it isn't high enough off the ground. We need to take it back. I knew I should have bought the one from John Lewis, the more expensive one."
Instead I persuaded her to invest in a set of plastic coasters I found on the internet to put underneath the cot. The coasters are £15 a pack, and we will need two packs to raise the cot to the same level as the bed. Thirty quid, that's nothing. Anything not to have to go back ... ever.
Picking the RIGHT Contractor or Service Provider
It is VERY IMPORTANT that if or when you decide to get a company or contractor to do work for you, that you find the right one who will provide quality work at the normal rate. I am sorry to say this, but it seems like more and more fly by night contractors and service providers are popping up taking deposits and not finishing work or getting paid and doing shoddy work. When I founded our company I had not much more than our name and workmanship to build up a competitive company. I told all my techs and subs that no matter how many services we offer... customer service must remain #1. Thanks to a great team and God we are ranked #1 on all the major search engines, have a 5 star rating on Ikea Fans, and was awarded the Superior Service Award by Angie's List in which ONLY a mere 5% of all companies listed Nationwide are even considered. Angie's List is the BEST way to find a reputable customer because a contractors rating isn't subject to what size ad space they purchase, the only way to get a good report is to do quality work and provide top customer service. Because the whole network is set up to allow its members to grade the particular contractor or service provider they used on everything from punctuality, workmanship, cost, overall job out come, plus it allows the customer to write in their own words what exactly was done and what the "real deal" with a particular business is. Angie’s List - Find thousands of unbiased ratings and reviews on service companies in your area, join Angie’s List today.
I strongly stand behind Angie's List because it saves so many customers the headaches and possibly financial nightmares of dealing with a shoddy company.
By: EZ Furniture Assembly & Interior Innovations, LLC
www.ezfurnitureassembly.com
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