Hello Everyone! I am very pleased to see that we have finally begun to retain some readership on our blog. In my recent article which was posted in over a dozen papers in New York City it explains how I stated EZ Furniture Assembly & Interior Innovations, LLC. This is an article I suggest that everyone read so they know the man behind the blog. Anyway, as we continue to grow both EZ Assembly and our newest venture, NYC Handyman and all the extras including the blog there will be some learning experiences where we will try new things and ask feedback to see if this intrests you. My main focus with this blog is to keep our readers informed on what products are of value, difficult to assemble, overprices, and so forth. I also intend to share some stories, tips, and as of now the " Tool of the Month". These tools are not given to us, these are tools we purchased and used and give an honest rating. Right now it is our dead time so I will only post one tool this month but I am confident that in months to coe we will be posting "TOOLS of the month". The tool we felt was best was the Black and Decker self adjusting wrench which makes any job requiring a cresent wrench a breeze. On a scale os 1 to 10 I would give it a 7.5 only because we do not acually use this type wrench that much in our business, and a regular DIYer will even get less use out of it. But when it is time to use it you will be thankful you bought it. Please send any feedback or comments to us so we can get your opinion on the tools listed. Once again, thank you!
Christopher Purnell
EZ Furniture Assembly & Interior Innovations,LLC
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Mark Malkoff still IKEA redisent!!!!!!!!
January 14, 2008
Mark Malkoff, IKEA Resident
In June of 2007, Mark Malkoff made news with his attempt, documented in a funny video, to patronize each of Manhattan’s 171 Starbucks in a single day. Now the Comedy Central staffer is back in the press with his latest quirky idea; he spent last week living in the Paramus, New Jersey IKEA to avoid his fumigated apartment. The strange experiment has been humorously documented on his website; we got him on the phone in IKEA before his stay ended Saturday night. What are you doing right now? I was just in my living room hanging with a friend who came to visit me. Now I’m escorting her to the escalators; I’d walk out with her but I’m not leaving here for a week.Have a lot of buddies come to visit? Yeah, a lot of friends and a lot of people who just heard about me and come bringing food items and living supplies. They’re concerned with my well-being. People brought me Starbucks because I did that other video and I guess they thought that was funny.
But aren’t you entitled to eat for free at IKEA? I am; I can eat whatever I want of the Swedish food they serve here. I’ve been vegetarian since I was a kid so they’re working on the first ever IKEA tofu meatball. I’m getting kind of tired of Swedish food and I may order Chinese or Dominos later today. I’ll have to give them the address of 100 IKEA Drive and hope they can find me in the bedroom set.
How have you been adapting to residing in a store and not going outside for a week? I had my personal trainer come in and we worked out all over the store so I could try and live a normal life. I played Lazer Tag with security guards at two in the morning. The fluorescent lighting is on 20 hours a day which is getting to me because I don’t have any sunlight. I wake up from naps and there are people staring at me and I feel like an animal in a zoo.
But I brought it on myself. The apartment I’ve set up is so much nicer than my own apartment; the only thing is none of the stuff works. The first night I got sick around 4:30am and I had to vomit. I had about 10 seconds to decide where I was going to go. I ran to the toilet and remembered, "Wait, this is a fake toilet!" So I ran to the kitchen and vomited in the sink, then I remembered the kitchen sink is fake as well. I went away for an hour and when I came back the puke was cleaned up. So whoever’s job that is in IKEA, I am really sorry.
Have the IKEA managers tried to curb any of your antics? No, I get full creative control, which is insane to me. I met with them in mid-December and they’re letting me do this weeks later. I own the content with no restrictions on anything. The only thing they said I couldn’t do is paint my bedroom walls; I wanted to paint them green yesterday. But everything else goes. I can do whatever I want. If I want a clean towel I just go down to the towel department and get a clean towel. There’s a price tag on it when I dry myself but whatever. Yeah, this place is very livable except for the fluorescent lighting coming on at 4:15. And there’s construction right by where I live with hammering and drilling at about 5am. I absolutely feel like I’m back in the city.
What’s the construction about? The workers are always constructing bedroom sets. I’m living in what looks like a functional living room, bedroom, spare bedroom and bathroom with two sinks. This would go for at least $4,000 in Manhattan. I have a fake door but the living sets are all around me and they’re constantly working on them in the wee hours.Do you think your experience is in any way a comment on the pervasiveness of American consumer culture? I’m a comedian and filmmaker and I just needed a place to live for a week. So I thought two things: If I can move in here I’ll have a place to stay and I can make videos.
How do you respond to people who think this is just some viral marketing thing? IKEA is not paying me anything. I have my friends working for free, including WGA workers who are not working but who wanted to participate in something fun here. I just thought it would be funny to live in the store. If you look at the videos, I don’t think IKEA looks good all the time. In the first episode there’s a joke about my IKEA furniture falling apart. They let me close the store every night over the P.A. and I say things like, “Get out! I want to go to sleep! This is the King of IKEA, the god of Swedish furniture!” Last night at closing I did Bon Jovi covers and addressed a man over the P.A. saying, “You, the man in the brown suit and the obvious toupee, William Shatner wants his rug back.”
So I’m saying these uncensored things and IKEA is obviously not paying me to do these things. I just thought it would be good video content. We have no budget and I think it’s remarkable we’re able to make well-produced, funny content with a turnover rate less than 24 hours.
What are some of the news outlets who have visited you? I’ve had everyone from Germany to Sweden to Israel; the AP and Reuters were here and that’s how we got worldwide coverage. But I’ve had every country you can imagine email me for a radio interview and I’ve been doing about 10 a day because that’s all I can manage. People are inviting me to other IKEAs to sleep. I don’t know if they’re official or not but I politely declined.
You don’t see yourself moving on to life in other department stores? I don’t. I’m sure Target’s going to call next week and offer me this but I don’t want to live in a Target. I just wanted to make funny videos and I didn’t realize how much stinking fun this would be.
You seem to have a knack for getting a lot of press with oddball ideas. Where do you see all this headed? I’ve been doing comedy videos since I was a kid. I do these comedy videos all the time; it’s just that the two I did involving corporate entities are the ones that got me the press. But most of the stuff I do does not involve corporations. I pick premises I think are funny and just do them.What does your wife think of this? Christine thinks it’s funny but she doesn’t want to sleep over in a store. I’m not sure why. But she came to visit me and we had a date in the store Wednesday when the store closed and that was fun. Our apartment’s actually fine now; I got a call we could move back in on Wednesday night but I’m having too good of a time here. I have to leave Saturday at midnight because in Paramus no stores are open on Sundays.
Mark Malkoff, IKEA Resident
In June of 2007, Mark Malkoff made news with his attempt, documented in a funny video, to patronize each of Manhattan’s 171 Starbucks in a single day. Now the Comedy Central staffer is back in the press with his latest quirky idea; he spent last week living in the Paramus, New Jersey IKEA to avoid his fumigated apartment. The strange experiment has been humorously documented on his website; we got him on the phone in IKEA before his stay ended Saturday night. What are you doing right now? I was just in my living room hanging with a friend who came to visit me. Now I’m escorting her to the escalators; I’d walk out with her but I’m not leaving here for a week.Have a lot of buddies come to visit? Yeah, a lot of friends and a lot of people who just heard about me and come bringing food items and living supplies. They’re concerned with my well-being. People brought me Starbucks because I did that other video and I guess they thought that was funny.
But aren’t you entitled to eat for free at IKEA? I am; I can eat whatever I want of the Swedish food they serve here. I’ve been vegetarian since I was a kid so they’re working on the first ever IKEA tofu meatball. I’m getting kind of tired of Swedish food and I may order Chinese or Dominos later today. I’ll have to give them the address of 100 IKEA Drive and hope they can find me in the bedroom set.
How have you been adapting to residing in a store and not going outside for a week? I had my personal trainer come in and we worked out all over the store so I could try and live a normal life. I played Lazer Tag with security guards at two in the morning. The fluorescent lighting is on 20 hours a day which is getting to me because I don’t have any sunlight. I wake up from naps and there are people staring at me and I feel like an animal in a zoo.
But I brought it on myself. The apartment I’ve set up is so much nicer than my own apartment; the only thing is none of the stuff works. The first night I got sick around 4:30am and I had to vomit. I had about 10 seconds to decide where I was going to go. I ran to the toilet and remembered, "Wait, this is a fake toilet!" So I ran to the kitchen and vomited in the sink, then I remembered the kitchen sink is fake as well. I went away for an hour and when I came back the puke was cleaned up. So whoever’s job that is in IKEA, I am really sorry.
Have the IKEA managers tried to curb any of your antics? No, I get full creative control, which is insane to me. I met with them in mid-December and they’re letting me do this weeks later. I own the content with no restrictions on anything. The only thing they said I couldn’t do is paint my bedroom walls; I wanted to paint them green yesterday. But everything else goes. I can do whatever I want. If I want a clean towel I just go down to the towel department and get a clean towel. There’s a price tag on it when I dry myself but whatever. Yeah, this place is very livable except for the fluorescent lighting coming on at 4:15. And there’s construction right by where I live with hammering and drilling at about 5am. I absolutely feel like I’m back in the city.
What’s the construction about? The workers are always constructing bedroom sets. I’m living in what looks like a functional living room, bedroom, spare bedroom and bathroom with two sinks. This would go for at least $4,000 in Manhattan. I have a fake door but the living sets are all around me and they’re constantly working on them in the wee hours.Do you think your experience is in any way a comment on the pervasiveness of American consumer culture? I’m a comedian and filmmaker and I just needed a place to live for a week. So I thought two things: If I can move in here I’ll have a place to stay and I can make videos.
How do you respond to people who think this is just some viral marketing thing? IKEA is not paying me anything. I have my friends working for free, including WGA workers who are not working but who wanted to participate in something fun here. I just thought it would be funny to live in the store. If you look at the videos, I don’t think IKEA looks good all the time. In the first episode there’s a joke about my IKEA furniture falling apart. They let me close the store every night over the P.A. and I say things like, “Get out! I want to go to sleep! This is the King of IKEA, the god of Swedish furniture!” Last night at closing I did Bon Jovi covers and addressed a man over the P.A. saying, “You, the man in the brown suit and the obvious toupee, William Shatner wants his rug back.”
So I’m saying these uncensored things and IKEA is obviously not paying me to do these things. I just thought it would be good video content. We have no budget and I think it’s remarkable we’re able to make well-produced, funny content with a turnover rate less than 24 hours.
What are some of the news outlets who have visited you? I’ve had everyone from Germany to Sweden to Israel; the AP and Reuters were here and that’s how we got worldwide coverage. But I’ve had every country you can imagine email me for a radio interview and I’ve been doing about 10 a day because that’s all I can manage. People are inviting me to other IKEAs to sleep. I don’t know if they’re official or not but I politely declined.
You don’t see yourself moving on to life in other department stores? I don’t. I’m sure Target’s going to call next week and offer me this but I don’t want to live in a Target. I just wanted to make funny videos and I didn’t realize how much stinking fun this would be.
You seem to have a knack for getting a lot of press with oddball ideas. Where do you see all this headed? I’ve been doing comedy videos since I was a kid. I do these comedy videos all the time; it’s just that the two I did involving corporate entities are the ones that got me the press. But most of the stuff I do does not involve corporations. I pick premises I think are funny and just do them.What does your wife think of this? Christine thinks it’s funny but she doesn’t want to sleep over in a store. I’m not sure why. But she came to visit me and we had a date in the store Wednesday when the store closed and that was fun. Our apartment’s actually fine now; I got a call we could move back in on Wednesday night but I’m having too good of a time here. I have to leave Saturday at midnight because in Paramus no stores are open on Sundays.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Stock toolbox with all the essentials every dweller needs
WHAT'S IN your toolbox?
No matter where you live, no matter whether you own or rent, what you need to keep your home in good shape should always be close by, so you can find it when you need it. That doesn't mean you should attempt jobs that are beyond your abilities. But really, if you want to hang a window shade, why not grab the drill and a hammer and do it yourself?
Need to know: You get what you pay for: Buy cheap, get cheap. But if you're attracted to shiny and expensive things, you're also likely to buy tools you'll never use. Better to have a few good hand tools and a couple of multipurpose power tools than a workshop worthy of TV's master carpenter Norm Abram.
Hammer time: At the very least, you should have three hammers: an 18- to 20-ounce claw hammer for pulling out nails; a 12-ounce hammer for pounding in nails to hang pictures; and a rubber mallet for putting hubcaps back in place or knocking in parts of must-be-assembled furniture that don't exactly fit the manufacturer's "easy-fit" directions.
Turn of the screw: Get a set of both larger screwdrivers with different sizes of slotted and Phillips heads and a set of precision screwdrivers (both Phillips and slotted-head) for removing the tiny screws that hold computer-screen covers. These small screwdrivers, once used exclusively by hobbyists, watch-repair people and jewelers, are also useful for tightening the screws that hold eyeglass frames together.
Power up: Battery-powered drill/drivers are no longer as expensive as they once were. These versatile tools are ergonomically designed and save wear and tear on hands, fingers and arm muscles. Buy a set of drill bits and another of screwdriver attachments and see how much easier it is to hang those window shades. Tale of the tape: Tape measure, that is. The most versatile is 30 feet by 1 inch, locks automatically, is released by squeezing the bottom, and can be read on both sides. On the level: Every toolbox should have one. It can be as small as 9 inches, but a 48-incher is more useful for getting pictures straight after you hang them. Pry and pull: It's good to have at least one pry bar that provides the right amount of leverage for removing stubborn nails from lumber. The old saw: Though power tools can be costly, a fully outfitted toolbox should include a battery-operated 71/2-inch circular saw. Given all the small jobs you'll be able to tackle around the house, you'll get your investment back quickly. Assembly required: Because most inexpensive furniture needs to be put together after you buy it, make sure you have Allen wrenches of various sizes. Wait, there's more: Locking pliers; a flashlight or work light; gloves; a utility knife; wire cutters; sandpaper (assorted grits); a putty knife; a speed square (a triangular measuring tool used to draw perpendicular lines on boards); a straight edge with right angle; screws and nails; wood glue; wire; string; WD-40 oil; duct tape; rags; safety glasses and ear protectors; chalk (easier to remove than pencil marks); and a sea sponge for smoothing joint compound in drywall repairs. Helpful extras: Keep a plunger handy; you'll be happy you have one. And no matter what else you decide to keep in the toolbox, don't forget a first-aid kit and Band-Aids.Stock toolbox with all the essentialsArticle Launched: 01/11/2008 02:57:41 PM PST
2008 means a new direction for our business and blog
I am still working on the right recipe to keep readers interested while providing informative, accurate, funny stories, tips, and now we are going to bring more of our business life into the blog to better help answer furniture assembly questions, and provide our Expert opinion on certain companies and their products. There are so many blogs out there that receive advertising from companies in which they will write about. However, we are independent and what we write is a result of our reports to obtained from a credible source. You may see banner ads from companies here and there as we grow, but you can bet you last nickel that we either use the company, it's products, services, or know from previous experience that it it a top quality company and, or offers products that are unique and of interest. We will be linking this blog to our website so we can receive feedback from our customers, and others just needing an answer. We recently opened a second company, "New York City Handyman" which mostly appears as NYC HANDYMAN. So whether you have a furniture assembly question, antique furniture repair questions, or any questions related to Handyman services please feel free to post your question and we will do our best to provide the best possible solution. My goal is to share ideas and stories from other city dwellers of how they transformed there closet home onto a unique work of art, or a cozy little cove to come home to. I intend to share many great tips, caution lists of products we assembled that were problems, as well as my experience in interior innovations where I will share color patterns and simple ideas to make your home more inviting and organized. I look forward to receiving pictures, stories, jokes, and whatever you would like to share that is in good taste. I have not set a schedule as to when I will be updating this, but I did note that I will update it once a week at the minimum. Until then, thank you for taking the time to read this and remember to view our websites for great deals as well as coupons for future work.
Christopher Purnell
EZ Furniture Assembly And Interior Innovations
Christopher Purnell
EZ Furniture Assembly And Interior Innovations
EZ Furniture Assembly & Interior Innovations Recieves " 2007 Super Service Award" from Angie's List!
Christopher Purnell
|
BY TONIA N. CIMINO
Ozone Park entrepreneur Christopher Purnell, President and founder of EZ Furniture
Assembly & Interior Innovations, LLC, was presented with a National Award from Angie’s List for Super Service in the year 2007.
The Super Service Award is an annual award given to companies who achieve and maintain an excellent rating with Angie’s List, a national word-of-mouth network for consumers to find an unbiased report on companies in their area.
EZ Furniture Assembly & Interior Innovations specializes in professional assembly of RTA (Ready to Assemble) furniture and kitchen cabinet installation.
Angie’s List members submit more than 15,000 reports each month about the companies they have hired. They describe their project (including the cost), and grade the company’s response time, prices and quality of work. The Super Service Award is a major achievement because only five percent of all the companies listed in the entire United States are presented with the award.
“I can only thank God and my team of technicians for where we are today,” said Purnell. “I started this company with no more than a handful of tools, a shoebox of past due bills, and a passion to succeed.”
He continued, “This is by far the biggest achievement I have made in both my business and personal life. I made sure customer service was our number one service, continued to do the next right thing, and always stuck by the Golden Rule that the customer was always right.”
To find out more about EZ Furniture Assembly & Interior Innovations, LLC you can visit their web site at www.ezfurnitureassembly.com.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Honesty is the best policy!!!!
I love to see the faces of tourists or people just passing by when they see someone homeless, they grab hold of their family and make some sort of unbreakable chain in their minds as Dad's legs begin to shake like whore on nickel night. Don't get me wrong there are some real creepy cats out there that I prefer my little princess not see, but some of the m make my day. Like this guy above! He isn't saying he's hungry or lost his job and the Big Brother gave him the whole 9". Nope, not him, he is telling you he wants to have a good time and asking passerby to help him on his field trip. Just like those kids that come year after year selling that shitty candy that they ask you to buy to help pay for their trip to somewhere. Ask and you shall receive, right? Who is your best bum? Anybody buy something special for their less fortunate brother or sister? Don't think for a second these people are happy where there at and if they really wanted to change they would be out working a real job. Real job?? What are they? Where do you find one of those in NYC? Don't get me wrong their are some assholes out there that I wouldn't give a red cent, but i have a few I bullshit with and slip them a 5 spot when I got it. I guess I got a soft spot because I know ANYBODY can be that person in no time at all. Even in my company I try to hire guys who not only need but want a second chance at life. We all make mistakes some get caught and others don't.b If you see the same guy week after week and he looks about your size why not stp by and tell him you got some old stuff that you don't wear anymore and they would probaly fit him swell. If he does take them you will get a feeling inside that I can't use words to explain when you see hin wearing the shirt you gave him.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Knock Down Furniture... Love or hate????
Hello Everyone:
I am sorry I haven't written in quite some time, but it seemed like nobody was listening. However, recently a few cats said they enjoyed my info and would appreciate if I continued with the blog. If anybody read my, I think first post it explains how I started this business from a screwdriver and a dream. Right now my little ole company is #1 on Yahoo & Google if you search "nyc furniture assembly". I thank my lucky strs every night that I have a great master assembler, his name is Lawrence. Rain nor shine he will build your whatever for you. Well, here is a little piece on Knock Down furniture. Take a minute and tell me what you think of my words of wisdom.
Christopher
EZ Furniture Assembly
&
Interior innovation
I am sorry I haven't written in quite some time, but it seemed like nobody was listening. However, recently a few cats said they enjoyed my info and would appreciate if I continued with the blog. If anybody read my, I think first post it explains how I started this business from a screwdriver and a dream. Right now my little ole company is #1 on Yahoo & Google if you search "nyc furniture assembly". I thank my lucky strs every night that I have a great master assembler, his name is Lawrence. Rain nor shine he will build your whatever for you. Well, here is a little piece on Knock Down furniture. Take a minute and tell me what you think of my words of wisdom.
Christopher
EZ Furniture Assembly
&
Interior innovation
Unfinished KD (knock down) furniture or RTA (ready to assemble) furniture offers several advantages:
1. It allows the purchaser to give the piece a preferred finish, perhaps to match other furnishings
2. It allows the buyer to purchase a piece of furniture anywhere from one-third to one-half off the cost of a finished piece in the same wood species. That’s the good part.
The bad part is, KD and RTA furniture isn’t as easy as some make it sound. If you have ever bought such furniture from IKEA or similar stores you know exactly what I’m talking about. You see this beautiful piece of furniture either in the store, catalog, or online and imagine how beautiful it will look in your home. I believe many of us just entirely skip the thought of assembling the furniture. Once home you open the box only to see several dozen pieces of what appears to be wood with holes. A bag of screws and some other widgets. And finally the directions. Thank God for the directions. This mess won’t be that hard to get together with the directions, right? Wrong! Many companies have decided that it’s best to print the directions without any written instructions and use only illustrations as some form of universal language. It is definitely a language in its own right, only one that makes learning Chinese look like learning the alphabet. The directions are similar to your 3-year-old child’s fridge picture, and those signs Psychiatrists use to determine your sanity.
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About Me
- ezassembly
- I am a person who has had a rollercoaster of a life, with more downs than ups. I spent several years in marketing in which I started entry level and left Regional Marketing Director. I was blessed with a little princess and deiced my life needed an over haul so I started EZ Furniture Assembly & Interior Innovations, LLC with no more than a few screwdrivers, a shoebox of past due bills and a passion to succeed at something I found I really enjoy. Today I run NYC's top professional furniture assembly & kitchen installation companies, and am considered an expert in my industry.